dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
