But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
