I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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