I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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