Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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