it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
