the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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