True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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