Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
