why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
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I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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