No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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