went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
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At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
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i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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