just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
