Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
