so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize