she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
