I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
