The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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