I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
