I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
