how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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