Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
