Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
