JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
