In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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