Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
