just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
