I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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