He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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