due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
