So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is not my ceiling
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Randomize
