A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
