i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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