Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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