Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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