All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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