Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
