Just fell off a train. Bad.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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