Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
