TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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