every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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