Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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