If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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