I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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