maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
