bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
