Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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