I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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