the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
