I'm going to jail i love you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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