I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize