oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
