come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
