There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
