why didn't you poke me back
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
