We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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