Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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