Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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