I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
