he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
