Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
